Next Step

Wow. It's been a while. I apologize. September - December are very busy months for us. We each have our birthdays during this time and then the holidays. I wanted to announce that...we got a grant for the adoption! We have been awarded up to $5000 from The Gift of Adoption Fund. We will receive the money towards our agency and international fees when we turn in the rest. We were absolutely floored. We did not expect this, especially such a large amount. It was so great to have confirmation from God in what we are doing. We also received a couple of other large gifts from friends and family that have made it possible for us to proceed to the next step, turning in our Dossier! So we will be sending that this week, as soon as we get one more paper redone (Yes, redone. It has happened a lot!) We send the Dossier in to our agency for review. We will probably have to redo a few things and then send it back. Then, we send it by courier to DC to pass courts and authentication there. Then it goes to the courts in Ethiopia. As soon as it passes there we will be in line for our referral of a possible child. It's getting close and we can barely contain our excitement. Once we get a referral we can really start preparing! God has also shown his faithfulness in preparing a wonderful site for our benefit dinner and several great donations from businesses for our silent auction. We got three donations in the mail yesterday. What a blessing! It's amazing how much easier it is to sit back and relax, when we have evidence his perfect timing and will.

Labor Pains

Adoption is painful. No it doesn't come with the enormous weight gain, aching back, constant nausea, swollen feet, traumatized bladder, agonizing contractions, and so on, and so on...but the emotional pain runs just as deep. I have felt called to adopt this child since before I even met my husband and God has been leading me closer to this child every day of my life. I know without a doubt that I. and I are headed down the right path and our child is waiting for us. God has given us the guidance and wisdom through each step of this process and I know He will continue. He will continue to give us the patience and strength we need each day, even if only to make it through the next hour, but it is surely one of the more challenging times of my life. The mountain of paperwork is finally over though it seemed like we would never make it and now we lie at the top afraid to move. However, we must journey on...there's still a long path ahead. Sometimes, the reality of how hard this is threatens to overwhelm me. Actually, now its seems like that is the case more often than not. We have made it so far but there is still so much to do and we are utterly exhausted. At this point we are at a standstill. We cannot move forward until the remainder of the money is paid. We are awaiting word on several grants and loans. I know God is good and I know His plan for this adoption is perfect but it's hard to not get caught up in the worries and difficulties surrounding us. Sometimes I just wish I had that enormous belly so I could prove to myself and others that this is real. It really will happen and soon. Instead, I get discouraged and allow my fears to overtake me, the lies to run rampant: "This is not real. It will not happen. You are foolish to try. It's all a big game." Thankfully, God renews me every morning. He gives me the strength I need to conquer the necessary tasks each day and He pulls me back to Him reminding me of His love for me. And it's times like this that it really helps to look back at my experience in birthing Z. The fear threatened to overwhelm me then as well, and look how beautifully we pulled through and what we have to show for it! In writing this I hope not to pass on my worries and discouragement but to connect you all with this process, to see inside the experience. Please pray for us and our little one as we wait.

Some have asked for more details on the fees and schedule for this process. Please see below if you are interested:

Paid:
$350 application fee
$2500 First Agency Fee
$1500 Home Study
$750 Education and Pre-Adoption
$800 Post-Adoption Visits
$300 postage

To be paid:
$2500 Second Agency Fee
$7000 International Fee
$1000 Document Authenication and Translation
$5000-10,000 Travel (airfare, immunizations, visas, hotel stay)

Dossier complete

Ahhh! Our Dossier is complete! Finally! Now this doesn't mean a whole lot as far as moving the process along. We still need a lot of money before we can send it in. But it is a huge weight off my shoulders to finally have that paper work done. It has been so exhausting. Hopefully we will get the money soon through loans and grants. Please pray that we will have patience and faith in God to provide. May it be His timing.

Adoption Benefit Dinner

We will be hosting an Adoption Benefit Dinner at 2:30 p.m. on Sunday, November 4th at Small Gatherings, 9110 W. 58th Ave., in Arvada. We are just about done with all the paper work and will be sending in our last payment as soon as we can afford to. We hope this is a fun and fruitful event for us and everyone who comes. Tickets are $10 per individual, $15 per couple, and $20 per family. Additional donations may also be made. We hope to enjoy Ethiopian cuisine, live music, and a silent auction. Come experience a taste of Ethiopian culture and learn more about our adoption process! Please RSVP.

Adoption Run

On November 3rd I am going to be doing a 5k run in City Park for Adoption Month. Check this website out if you are interested in more info redthreadrun.com. Anyone can join me. I am not an experienced runner though I have been trying to do it lots in the last month. It will be an experience but what great motivation! I am excited.

Home study DONE!!!

We finalized our Home Study last week! The social worker came and saw our new place. Then she handed us the rough draft of our Home Study. It was weird to read our own Home Study. It's difficult because she has to sum up our whole life and family history in just a few pages. But she did a good job and I must say I am glad I didn't choose that profession. We read it over, made any necessary changes, and sent it back. It will be signed by her supervisor and then sent to the State to be approved. That should take about a week and then it will sent on to Immigration. At that time, we can get copies and send it with our Dossier and loan/grant applications. . We have a few things to re-do on our Dossier and then that's off too! Woo-hoo! I can't believe that part is finally done. It is so exciting.

Adoption Update

I apologize for the length of time between posts. Adopting a child internationally has proved to be very time consuming. The following is an update on what we have done so far in the adoption and what we still need to do. This spring and summer we have been bogged down with paperwork. Our kitchen table, coffee table, and desk are evidence of this. At first it was very overwhelming. We weren’t quite sure where to start. J finally relented and made an Excel document, which outlined everything that need to be done in great detail. It was amazing how much this helped.

Here’s a glimpse of what we have done in the past few months: We were fingerprinted, twice. We sent in an application to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) to approve our child for entry into the US. We applied for police clearance from our local station, a background check, and a child abuse registry search. We have gathered birth certificates, marriage licenses, old tax forms, and reference letters. We’ve read an extensive book on parenting an adopted child and passed the online test with flying colors. We’ve done two additional online courses for the international agency, and have attended two of four required lectures through our local agency. We’ve submitted passport photos, testimonies, family photos, and more forms than we can count. We’ve racked up the mileage on our cars making trips to the police stations, Jefferson County government buildings, and fingerprint offices. We’ve attended one Ethiopian adoption support group party and can’t wait to attend more. We endured 3 home visits from our social worker (really they weren’t that bad).

We are very close to being done with the Home Study and the Dossier. This can take anywhere from 1-4 months. In Ethiopia they have only one judge for 57 orphanages. The courts also take August and September off for their New Year. Therefore, it can be a long, arduous process. After they approve us, we will receive a referral. This is the paperwork on a potential child. It will include photos, a biography (as much as is known), and health information. We will then have ten days to talk to each other and a doctor, and pray. If we decide to adopt that child, we then will wait probably about a month to travel and pick him or her up. We will only have to be in Ethiopia for 3 days if everything goes as planned. However, we may go earlier to do some sight-seeing. When we return to the states there will be a few more forms and possibly a court hearing to finalize the adoption. We will have at least 3 post-placements visits by our caseworker in Denver after the adoption to make sure we are all doing well. And that is that. Simple, right?

We are also planning a benefit dinner to raise money towards the adoption. We hope to have this dinner organized by September or October. We will invite many of our family and friends to join us to learn more about our adoption and support us in our journey. We will be serving an Ethiopian meal and hope to have live music as well. More information on that to follow.

Thank you again for your prayers, thoughts, and support. We can’t wait to bring our little one home and introduce him or her to all.

I want my baby!

We went to a picnic this weekend for families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. We have all met through a google group. There were about 15 families there while we were there though I know more came later. It was such an incredible experience. I stepped out of the car as another family showed up. They started getting their kids out the car and out stepped this gorgeous little boy. I started tearing up. This actually happens. We will be doing the same very soon. There were several families there who already had one, two, three, four...adopted children. And there were some like us still in the process. Many already had biological children of their own before they adopted, just like us. It is difficult to put into words how amazing it was to gather with other people who have been through what we are doing right now and to see the results. It was encouraging to say the least. We got some great advice for traveling, finalizing the adoption here in the States, the state of the orphanages, etc.

Z had a pretty good time. I think it was just a bit overwhelming for him. He's just not used to that big of a group of people. They did have a great playground, jumping castle, and lots of bikes to play with. I think the children of different races scared him a bit. It was almost like their color was frightening too him but I know that will get better with more exposure. It's pretty normal. We tried explaining to him that his little brother or sister would look a lot like these kids but he was too distracted to listen.

We ran into a couple from our prior church in Wash Park at the picnic. They just recently returned with their three old daughter. We did not know them very well while we attended DCC and had no idea they were adopting. So that was really neat. It is so valuable to have connections like these while in the process and after.

There will probably be another picnic in August for more opportunities to connect and get to know people. We will also begin attending the monthly group meetings soon. These meetings cover things about adoption and about Ethiopia itself. The last meeting was on Ethiopian cooking but we were unable to go. Yeah for GOOGLE.

Let it all out

All illusions of privacy are gone. We have survived our second home visit, it (all the minute details our lives) is all out now and there is no going back. Seriously though, it wasn't that bad and we understand the need for this disclosure. It is surprising, however, how intimate things got. We answered some more questions together and then did interviews separately about our history, our spouse's history, and family history and about our marital relationship. It went well, as far as we know, and we will be finishing up next week. For those of you who know our families, pray that we will still get accepted after all of that.

So this week I am on a mad rush to get all the rest of the paperwork done. I need to get copies of birth certificates and our marriage license. I need to schedule appointments for physicals. Z and I probably don't have to go in but considering I. hasn't been to the doctor in several years, they will probably make him come in. Ha! I need to passport photos done and send in a reapplication just to get my name changed on mine. We both need to get fingerprinted and then fill out a few more forms. Maybe I should hire someone to help me. Angelina Jolie is lucky!

Second Visit

More adoption news. We had our second adoption class on Saturday. It was good. We talked about sign language especially using it as a bridge for language barriers or post-institutionalized children who may have language delays. We have already started teaching Z so that he can use it to communicate with his little brother or sister too. He loves it. Then we talked about racism and having a multicultural/multiracial family. Sadly we had to leave early and didn't get to hear much of this lecture. Two more classes to go! They do not do classes in the summer so our next one will probably be in September.

Our home visit last week went great. Our social worker is super nice and easy to talk to. We will be having our second visit tonight. More questions! Please pray some more. And our third visit will be next Monday, the 11th. We hope to have all our paper work in by that night. Then she will write up the report and we will move on to the Dossier.

We have filed our I-600A which is the Citizenship/Immigration form for our child. This usually takes between 6-10 weeks to process and is another big part of the process. Yea! Moving right along.

Everything is moving so fast right now. It is exciting. After we finish the Dossier, however, we will just be waiting for 6-7 months to get a referral for a possible child. We will need to find lots to do in that time to keep us busy so we don't go completely crazy.

Second Visit

More adoption news. We had our second adoption class on Saturday. It was good. We talked about sign language especially using it as a bridge for language barriers or post-institutionalized children who may have language delays. We have already started teaching Isaiah so that he can use it to communicate with his little brother or sister too. He loves it. Then we talked about racism and having a multicultural/multiracial family. Sadly we had to leave early and didn't get to hear much of this lecture. Two more classes to go! They do not do classes in the summer so our next one will probably be in September.

Our home visit last week went great. Our social worker is super nice and easy to talk to. We will be having our second visit tonight. More questions! Please pray some more. And our third visit will be next Monday, the 11th. We hope to have all our paper work in by that night. Then she will write up the report and we will move on to the Dossier.

We have filed our I-600A which is the Citizenship/Immigration form for our child. This usually takes between 6-10 weeks to process and is another big part of the process. Yea! Moving right along.

Everything is moving so fast right now. It is exciting. After we finish the Dossier, however, we will just be waiting for 6-7 months to get a referral for a possible child. We will need to find lots to do in that time to keep us busy so we don't go completely crazy.

Home Visit

Please be in prayer for us. We will be having our first home visit/interview with our social worker on Saturday at 2 p.m. We are very excited to get to start this. The Home Study is the major work portion of the adoption and this is the first step within it. It should take 6-8 weeks from now to finish this part. The social worker will come to see our house, meet us, interview us about our decision to adopt, and discuss the process and paper work. I am pretty relaxed about the whole thing, mostly just excited. It is really happening! Just pray that she sees our hearts. Thanks! We will keep you informed.

Some of you have expressed interest in knowing more about our adoption process so I thought I would take some time to sit down today and write out as much as I know. The process is huge and there is still a lot we don’t know about it, but I will do my best. Before we started any of this, I researched the process a lot so actually most of what I know, I learned from that research. Feel free to send any more questions you have later.

We are working with two agencies. Christian World Adoption (CWA) is the main agency we will be working with. They are based out of North Carolina. We found them through Steven Curtis Chapman’s adoption foundation. We also have to work with a local agency to do our Home Study. The Home Study is a series of interviews, including one visit to our home. At this time, they also help you gather and finish all the necessary paperwork. We will be working with International Adoption Net (IAN) in Centennial. CWA will be helping us mostly with the international side of things. We have to take two online adoption classes with them on issues like attachment, being a multicultural family, adoption laws, etc. We are also required to read a book that covers all of the important issues and take a quiz. So far, all of it has been very helpful and interesting though it is a lot. Other than these studies, we will not be working on anything with CWA until after our Home Study is finished.

With IAN we have started a lot of paperwork. This paperwork includes but is definitely not limited to: a criminal background check, fingerprints, contract with the agency, copies of our marriage license and birth certificates, questionnaires about our childhoods and family life, health physicals, passports, etc. I am sure there will be more of that to come. We hope to start the Home Study in the next week. Our caseworker has been out of town. The Home Study will take 6-8 weeks as long as we are on top of things. We also are in the process of taking classes for this agency. We must have 24 hours of these classes to complete the adoption. We went to one 2 weeks ago. These classes cover a range of topics as well. Last week we discussed possible mental or physical problems an adopted child may have or develop and the process of loss and grief for an adopted child. It was very informative and also great because we got to meet other couples from Colorado adopting from Ethiopia and other countries. One couple in particular was about our age and had a daughter about Isaiah’s age. They have invited us to join their support group of couples in Colorado all of whom have adopted from Ethiopia. We are eager to look into this and try it out.

During the process of the Home Study, we will start working on immigration forms. This will take about 6-10 weeks but can be done at the same time as the Home Study. When we finish the Home Study, we send it to the agency in North Carolina. Then we will begin working with them on our Dossier. The Dossier is a packet of forms for the international side of adoption. I am not sure what all it includes. The Dossier takes between 2-4 weeks. We will then send the Home Study and Dossier to the Ethiopian orphanage we will be working with and await their approval. This can take anywhere from 1-4 months. In Ethiopia they have only one judge for 57 orphanages. The courts also take August and September off for their New Year. Therefore, it can be a long, arduous process. After they approve us, we will receive a referral. This is the paperwork on a potential child. It will include photos, a biography (as much as is known), and health information. We will then have ten days to talk to each other and a doctor, and pray. If we decide to take adopt that child, we then will wait probably about a month to travel and pick him or her up. We will only have to be in Ethiopia for 3 days if everything goes as planned. However, we may go earlier to do some sight-seeing. When we return to the states there will be a few more forms and possibly a court hearing to finalize the adoption. We will have at least 3 post-placements visits by our caseworker in Denver after the adoption to make sure we are all doing well. And that is that. Simple, right?

Bring a sack lunch

We attended our first adoption class on Saturday. For the agency in Denver we have to log 24 hours of these classes. Each class is 6 hours. They will have a wide range of topics and speakers. Saturday we had a lady from Aurora Mental Health talk to us about PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, and other possible pyschological issues we may have to face with an adopted child. The second half of the class dealt with the grief and loss that an adopted child is likely to experience. It was a little scary learning about all this but I am very glad that they are warning us about this now. At least we will be somewhat prepared. There were probably 15 couples there, all varying in age and circumstance. It was neat to get to meet people in the same place as us and get advice too. The majority of the couples were adopting from Ethiopia. We met one couple in particular that was about our age and have a daughter about Z's age. We may get together with them and some other couples they have met sometime. It would be great to have those resources. Please continue to pray for us as we walk through this.

A date set

We received a call last night from our case worker for the agency we will be working with in Denver on our Home Study. She has sent us about 25 forms we need to fill out but in particular needs to get to them first. So we filled that one out last night. It is amazing how personal they get, and we've been told this is only the beginning. The exciting thing is that she told us we will probably start the actual Home Study the second week of May! Everything is moving so fast. Yea!

Adoption Support

Friends and Family :

As most of you may know, this spring finds us eagerly pursuring the first steps in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia. We have submitted our application and contract to the agency we have chosen, Christian World Adoption. We have also submitted our application to an agency here in Colorado for our home study. The home study is a series of interviews and in-home visits by a social worker employed by the adoption agency. The purpose of these visits is to determine whether or not our family is suited for an international adoption and to assist us in gathering all the necessary documents. After this is completed, we are entered into a waiting list to be placed with a child. Once we are placed, we will begin the process of traveling to Ethiopia and bringing the child home with us. The whole process takes about 6 to 18 months from start to finish.

We would like to take a moment to describe how we arrived at the decision to pursue international adoption. We were both raised in families composed partly through adoption. I. has an older step sister that was adopted and J has an older brother and sister who were adopted. Because of this, both os uf thought it a possibility that we might build a family through adoption when the time came. Because of the influence this had on us in our own families, we had both been instilled with a heart for children in need of homes. Three years ago, during our senior year of college, J took a class surveying the history, culture and current state of the continent of Africa. Through the things that she learned in this class and the discussions we had concerning the state of this part of the world, God developed within us a deep compassion for those millions of orphans in Africa displaced due to AIDS, hunger, war, and corruption. We knew that we had to be involved in helping in some way. Adoption is our first step. Though we know we can never completely replace the loss that these children have experienced, we do hope to give at least one a brighter future. We hope this is the beginning of a deeper involvement ministering to the people of this part of the world.

As we feel led to pursue this course in our lives and with our family, we want to ask for your support. This process is costly, both financially and emotionally, yet we are confident that God has called us to this and we believe that He will provide both the funds and the strngth to complete it. We would like to ask you first for your prayers and encouragement as we move forward, as this journey is sure to be an uncertain one. We ask that you would not only support us through your own prayer, but ask others to pray for us as well. In addition, we are also asking for financial support as a way to build the funds we need to carry out this plan. If you choose to support us in this way, donations can be made by check directly to the adoption agency in our name. These donations are tax deductible. Please only give financially, or otherwise, as you feel led.

Thank you for your time. We hope to keep you updated with progress as it happens.

Financial gifts can be mailed directly to Christian World Adoption; Attn: Accounting Department; 777 South Allen Road; Flat Rock, NC 28731. Please include a note specifying our names and address as the recipients.

It begins!

God is so faithful. Doing this adoption is such a huge exercise in faith. I mean for a young couple just starting out to find all the money for this, is impossible...without God. We knew from the beginning that it was going to take a lot of faith in God to get through this and only through Him would it be possible, but we knew it was what he was calling us to do. So...I knew the money would come but I never thought He would demonstrate His faithfulness so quickly. Last week we received an enormously generous check from some family friends towards our adoption. Enough to sign the contract with the agency and get this thing moving! It is so amazing. So today we send in all the necessary paperwork. We are now able to apply to begin our home study and start working on getting all our international paperwork together. We thought this wouldn't happen for a couple of months. Thank you all for your prayers. We will keep you updated with each exciting step!

Orientation

We had our orientation call with the adoption counselor last Wednesday night. It all feels so much more real now. She asked why we decided to adopt and why Africa. Then she told us about what the agency will be helping us with and what we need to do next. She explained that she thinks it will take 9-12 months to complete the process. Everyone tells us something different so...we don't know what to expect. There is only one judge in Ehtiopia for these cases and the judge works with 56 other agencies as well. He also takes the month of August off so, as you can imagine, things might take a while there. She then gave us advice about bringing the baby home. So just a heads up, she really suggests that no one else hold the baby for the first two weeks. It can be a very confusing and scary time for the little one and we will need to be respectful of that. That will probably crush many people but it is what's best. So, that's about it on the phone call. We'd appreciate all of your prayers as we wait for the first batch of fees to come together. We've already received more than we expected - God is gracious. More news as it comes...

Accepted

We are in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia. It is a very exciting time but also stressful. The emotional side of this experience is probably as difficult as the physical side of being pregnant with a child. We are very ready to have another little one and hope the process moves quickly. We just heard two days ago that we have been accepted by the adoption agency we are working with. Yea! So now we need to send in more paperwork (basically a contract and formal application), half of the agency fee, and then we can start our home study. The home study is a series of interviews/visits from a social worker of a local adoption agency. They will help us gather all the necessary documents and make sure our family is fit for this adoption. We are ready to do all this ASAP but will have to wait until our finances are ready. Hopefully this will be the case in the next couple of months. The whole process should take 7-9 months which means we will travel to Ethiopia and have a new baby before the end of this year, God willing.