Labor Pains

Adoption is painful. No it doesn't come with the enormous weight gain, aching back, constant nausea, swollen feet, traumatized bladder, agonizing contractions, and so on, and so on...but the emotional pain runs just as deep. I have felt called to adopt this child since before I even met my husband and God has been leading me closer to this child every day of my life. I know without a doubt that I. and I are headed down the right path and our child is waiting for us. God has given us the guidance and wisdom through each step of this process and I know He will continue. He will continue to give us the patience and strength we need each day, even if only to make it through the next hour, but it is surely one of the more challenging times of my life. The mountain of paperwork is finally over though it seemed like we would never make it and now we lie at the top afraid to move. However, we must journey on...there's still a long path ahead. Sometimes, the reality of how hard this is threatens to overwhelm me. Actually, now its seems like that is the case more often than not. We have made it so far but there is still so much to do and we are utterly exhausted. At this point we are at a standstill. We cannot move forward until the remainder of the money is paid. We are awaiting word on several grants and loans. I know God is good and I know His plan for this adoption is perfect but it's hard to not get caught up in the worries and difficulties surrounding us. Sometimes I just wish I had that enormous belly so I could prove to myself and others that this is real. It really will happen and soon. Instead, I get discouraged and allow my fears to overtake me, the lies to run rampant: "This is not real. It will not happen. You are foolish to try. It's all a big game." Thankfully, God renews me every morning. He gives me the strength I need to conquer the necessary tasks each day and He pulls me back to Him reminding me of His love for me. And it's times like this that it really helps to look back at my experience in birthing Z. The fear threatened to overwhelm me then as well, and look how beautifully we pulled through and what we have to show for it! In writing this I hope not to pass on my worries and discouragement but to connect you all with this process, to see inside the experience. Please pray for us and our little one as we wait.

Some have asked for more details on the fees and schedule for this process. Please see below if you are interested:

Paid:
$350 application fee
$2500 First Agency Fee
$1500 Home Study
$750 Education and Pre-Adoption
$800 Post-Adoption Visits
$300 postage

To be paid:
$2500 Second Agency Fee
$7000 International Fee
$1000 Document Authenication and Translation
$5000-10,000 Travel (airfare, immunizations, visas, hotel stay)